Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts

Thursday, 5 June 2014

The books which claim helping!

Some people are destined for greatness, some are meant to be put at a pedestal and being admired. There life is an elegantly written manuscript on which they, very expertly, crave their way to greatness. Opportunities fall their way, and they grab them with all the ten fingers. Well, its not that easy. The opportunity don't just fall their way, hey look for it and take what they rightfully own.

There are things which they do differently from people like me.
First, I think, is that they never undermine themselves, for if you don't believe in yourself how will others find faith in you.
Second, I guess, is they never doubt their ability to do what they think is right. Their feet is strong on the ground when they take a stand, and they are ready to show the world what's what. That i think is really important.
Third, i suppose is that, they are not lazy, they have the desire to keep going and they are ready to take the world by the collar and make it its own. Yes, THIS, This is the most important think there is to do, not the previous one.
Fourth. Believe. There is nothing which can be said more clearly and enunciated in a more crystal way than the fact that one need to believe in themselves, and believe that their talent, vision, belief is true and nothing can be said to move their faith from it. The world will believe only if you believe.

Well, that was mighty easy to write. In reality all the 'point' so graciously explaining life's real treasures, are something I am not. I lack each and every one of these points. I wonder whether all the self help books are written by such lost souls who only write these books to overcome the lack of the quality in there own life, because for a minute my life seemed awfully easy.

Its very satisfying to switch off the real troubles and sit in front of the screen and become someone else, even it is for a little while, everybody needs their escape i suppose. Me, I can't become someone else, the self-righteous (wishful thinking ! ) gene in my body does not let me do it. But I wasn't talking about that, I was talking about how some people are destined for greatness.

There are people around me who I know will be great and theirs will the name I read on the paper in a few years. A few. Out of these few, i am proud of most of them, but when they happen to share a tiny bit of your DNA, the pride quickly turns into jealousy. The point to note is the phrase 'tiny bit of DNA'. A distant relative, who also happens to be sharing your age bracket. I have that. I go through that most of the days of my kind of sort of insignificant life.

BUT, this wasn't supposed to be the usual rant of the PMSing inferiority complexed girl. So I break the tip of my pen here, but before I do that, I need to ask, any of you have tips of how to get over jealousy?

-Ex  

Thursday, 3 October 2013

All night.

If the clouds were not there, would one look up the sky and think about longing one might have felt once?
Might have felt the tiny trembling in your stomach, listened close to the faint growling of sky-keepers. There can't be anything which can be remembered or loved unless it flies past you everyday.

Maybe your life is just as frail. Just as fragile. Just as irrevocably breakable.

As you walk past the one person, you look into the eyes and you see this glass. Glass for the emotion you long to see. Then with time you learn that look too well, so much so that you develop your own kind of glass.

One day the beauty of the trees will fade. Then slowly and surely, the time will come for other things to fade as well. The sweet memories of the kind holdings will all blur away into a light touch of colour in the vast sky.

It will all end leaving a soft trail.behind and one day that trail.will die as well leaving no evidence of your existence, and no one to for that loss as well. All in its own fair time.

Monday, 19 August 2013

I want *that* candy.

Today a friend gave me his blog id and i read the stuff he wrote. It was liberating in a few ways. First, I got another direction to look at when it comes to talking about my inability to write anymore. His writing is very laid back. It's very conversation styled. It's relaxing to read his words, unlike my cousin's who only make everything sound twisted and fancy. No, I get you are deep, I get symbolism and metaphors as well, but really man, give it a rest sometimes. So, anyway, I read one of his posts and it was about this random (to me) anonymous girl, who he apparently loves, but can never have. Heavy stuff. But he wasn't his whiney self. I actually was smiling while reading his rants. It was a fresh perspective on things.

Then I read one of his other posts, it was about being single and then missing being in a relationship. Well, I have never been in a relationship. I am yet to figure out the reason behind it, but whatever it is, I have never held a guy's hand and walked. I have never watched a movie with my head resting on someones shoulder, I have never had a guy look in to my eyes and tell me I am beautiful. Never. In fact I think I am a little scared of guys. Yeah, I guess it puts me in the loser category but whatever it is, its true. So, when I read about his feelings about this whole thing, I was slightly taken aback.

When I was in school, I mean, when we were in school, I used to have a crush on this guy and I like to believe that he did too, for a few days at least. So, when I read him write about all this all this time later I was forced to think where did I slip. I was never really into all this. I can't even flirt. I mean, I have never done it. I wish I could but I just can't. After a certain point it doesn't really matter.

I say it doesn't matter because when I read his posts, I realised you can only care about trivial things as love when you are satisfied with yourself, your life. And God knows that I am anything but satisfied. So, that's how I linked my now dead writing, I could not write because of my unsatisfaction has lead to being totally and completely uninspired.

I wish things were different, I wish I was more at ease. But turns out things are not as easy as shown on Friends. Life can be a pile of poop, and I am right in the middle of it, trying to get the fuck out of it. I am trying. GOD, I need this stupid Engineering to get over, and get a job so that I can get on with my life!

Forever in poop
- Ex.

Where the fuck is my Unicorn, pooping customize rain-fucking-bow?

Sunday, 18 August 2013

Ridikulous

I love acting. I mean not in a I-wanna-be-the-next-Vidya-Balan way but in a I-love-being-in-my-college-society way. When I started out in the college, I was oh so sad, because I didn't get into my desired field and stuff. But when I joined my drama club, there was a visible change in me. I was happier and my grades got better too. Now I am in my third year and I really need to think about my grades and better them, everybody I know needs to do that. But one of my friends left it, because she said she needs to concentrate on her studies, and now I am thinking, I have to study hard, and I can't let this ruin everything for me. But I can't simply get influenced by a person who can't seem to manage her time, right? Of course I am right. I will have to get an 8! 7.5 won't cut it anymore.  And it has to be done without sacrificing things that I love. Even though I am seriously considering deleting my Facebook, because it is just plain boring.

In college, money also happens to be a pain in the ass. I am always low on cash. Does it happen to everybody? I hope the answer is yes, because otherwise it would just mean that I suck at managing money. Actually problem arises when I am depressed (like now) that I eat a lot and things go a little out of hand. Like my weight, right now. 

Anyways, I have made a list in my mind, and the first priority on my list is to get 17+ (out of 20 that is) in my upcoming minors. Need to show certain bitches certain things. 

-
Ex.