In other news

Ello There,
I am addressing to the blog, no need to get cocky, my dear invisible reader. Weekend is here and it is sucking the life out of me as usual. I am not a very social person so it gets a little difficult to be out and chill. Don't worry, I still do chill. Just a lil uncomfortably. So, its safe to say that I am fcked up introvert.

So, today as a weekend celebration, I got my ears pierced, they are my third and final ones. I love nothing goes wrong because my parents don't know anything about it and they will disown me if something were to go wrong. Even though this hurts as fuck, but I am very happy with it. I have wanted this for so long that it is almost sad.

In other news, I have a friend who I have kinda lost contact with, she is pretty awesome and we used to be quite tight back in the day. But people drift and thus we too drifted in another land, she into the land of awesome and me into the land of Engg., need I say more? So anyways, she is turning her life around and getting rich by making these cool cards and diaries, did I mention turning her life around? Yes. I am  happy for her. Maybe I should let her know that.

Anyways, I am still mentally undecided about what comes next in my life, I am sure it will kill me slowly and taking pleasure in every little slice of the butcher knife. It really is a predicament how I can single handedly ruin my own life.

Nothing more to see here.

-Ex.

I want *that* candy.

Today a friend gave me his blog id and i read the stuff he wrote. It was liberating in a few ways. First, I got another direction to look at when it comes to talking about my inability to write anymore. His writing is very laid back. It's very conversation styled. It's relaxing to read his words, unlike my cousin's who only make everything sound twisted and fancy. No, I get you are deep, I get symbolism and metaphors as well, but really man, give it a rest sometimes. So, anyway, I read one of his posts and it was about this random (to me) anonymous girl, who he apparently loves, but can never have. Heavy stuff. But he wasn't his whiney self. I actually was smiling while reading his rants. It was a fresh perspective on things.

Then I read one of his other posts, it was about being single and then missing being in a relationship. Well, I have never been in a relationship. I am yet to figure out the reason behind it, but whatever it is, I have never held a guy's hand and walked. I have never watched a movie with my head resting on someones shoulder, I have never had a guy look in to my eyes and tell me I am beautiful. Never. In fact I think I am a little scared of guys. Yeah, I guess it puts me in the loser category but whatever it is, its true. So, when I read about his feelings about this whole thing, I was slightly taken aback.

When I was in school, I mean, when we were in school, I used to have a crush on this guy and I like to believe that he did too, for a few days at least. So, when I read him write about all this all this time later I was forced to think where did I slip. I was never really into all this. I can't even flirt. I mean, I have never done it. I wish I could but I just can't. After a certain point it doesn't really matter.

I say it doesn't matter because when I read his posts, I realised you can only care about trivial things as love when you are satisfied with yourself, your life. And God knows that I am anything but satisfied. So, that's how I linked my now dead writing, I could not write because of my unsatisfaction has lead to being totally and completely uninspired.

I wish things were different, I wish I was more at ease. But turns out things are not as easy as shown on Friends. Life can be a pile of poop, and I am right in the middle of it, trying to get the fuck out of it. I am trying. GOD, I need this stupid Engineering to get over, and get a job so that I can get on with my life!

Forever in poop
- Ex.

Where the fuck is my Unicorn, pooping customize rain-fucking-bow?

Ridikulous

I love acting. I mean not in a I-wanna-be-the-next-Vidya-Balan way but in a I-love-being-in-my-college-society way. When I started out in the college, I was oh so sad, because I didn't get into my desired field and stuff. But when I joined my drama club, there was a visible change in me. I was happier and my grades got better too. Now I am in my third year and I really need to think about my grades and better them, everybody I know needs to do that. But one of my friends left it, because she said she needs to concentrate on her studies, and now I am thinking, I have to study hard, and I can't let this ruin everything for me. But I can't simply get influenced by a person who can't seem to manage her time, right? Of course I am right. I will have to get an 8! 7.5 won't cut it anymore.  And it has to be done without sacrificing things that I love. Even though I am seriously considering deleting my Facebook, because it is just plain boring.

In college, money also happens to be a pain in the ass. I am always low on cash. Does it happen to everybody? I hope the answer is yes, because otherwise it would just mean that I suck at managing money. Actually problem arises when I am depressed (like now) that I eat a lot and things go a little out of hand. Like my weight, right now. 

Anyways, I have made a list in my mind, and the first priority on my list is to get 17+ (out of 20 that is) in my upcoming minors. Need to show certain bitches certain things. 

-

Ex.

'Ello There!

It's time for a blog post and after such a long time. Yes, It been long. So there is a speciality about this blog, or that's what I would like to believe, the post will HAVE to come frequently and also all the posts will be midnight brain farts, i have a lot of those.

While making this blog, I remembered why I deleted my old blog, it was because I never had much followers and it used to make me doubt my ability to write, which i now know is completely dead. So anyways, that is why after almost a year of being out of the blog zone, i have returned with an anonymous blog, because writing was my escape and without a face and name I can let go of my fear of being judge. I still think I am being judged but you know, at the ed of the day you are judging a cat with glasses.

Today, i thought would be my first post. But then I had to write an explanation for my own sake. ALso, i have decided to comment more. Again the reason I think is pretty much the same, of why I didn't used to comment more earlier, but all that is in the past now.

Also, I would like to post a few more things here. A few things which god know I would not share with my peer.
anyways, this is just a hello. Actually, its more of a 'ELLO!

Gliding Away,

Ex.